Writing My Heart Out. Literally.

A word is not the same with one writer as with another.  One tears it from his guts.  The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket.  ~Charles Peguy

        Have I ever mentioned my love of quotes? Well, I guess I will now. I love quotes. Sometimes I find on that I love, and it just makes me feel like someone climbed into my brain and then summarized 'me' in a few short sentences. I stumbled upon this quote of William Faulkner's that "The work never matches the dream of perfection the artist has to start with" and oh my goodness, do I agree with that. I have been working on a story of mine which I am planning on being finished with by January 1st, and at this point it's like pulling teeth! Sometimes I wonder why in the world I ever wanted to be a writer- a fact that my entire family can attest to after witnessing more than a few "I stink at this, what am I thinking? My brain produces nothing but crap!" rampages. And that is when I think "Hmm... Maybe a life of flipping burgers at McDonald's wouldn't be too torturous."

Maybe my problem is just that I'm lazy...

        But then in the end, I (very painfully) tear something passable from my guts,  and sometimes, sometimes, I get out something completely earth shattering (at least to me) and the world is right again. I suppose that it's the price I have to pay. After all, "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. (Ray Bradbury)" and that is the real reason why I write. Because I can't live without it.


        I think I'll just repeat this 1,000,000 times..."And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.  The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. (Sylvia Plath)" and stop doubting myself! 

In My Dreams... Paris!

I've been dreaming nonstop about Europe lately. Sadly, I spent all my travel funds last September backpacking across France, Italy, Monaco, Slovenia, Austria and Germany, so now I'm stuck at home fantasizing that I'm in Paris. :(

I would love to go to Europe sparing no expenses and pay for everything myself. Since I have no hopes of that happening too soon, I figure I might as well start planning (and dreaming) now! So location by location, I'm going to outline my dream vacation, starting with Paris.

Last year I got to spend four days in Paris, but I honestly could've spent a whole month there. Paris is filled with the most beautiful architecture, but what I really noticed were the clothes on all of the beautiful Parisians. Where I live in the Pacific Northwest, the reigning style is hiker chic or sweatshirts and jeans.

That's me, in Paris. Someday... Someday I'll go back!

Now, I've always been interested in fashion but I kind of sunk into the casual style of my surroundings as I grew up. Then I traveled to Boston when I was fifteen, and suddenly my eyes were opened to the beautiful chicness of the outside world. There's something magical about dressing how you want to and using different patterns and colors to achieve the aesthetic that is most pleasing to you. I get giddy to a sad degree when browsing clothes or when I see a color scheme I really love.

Let me tell you, the giddy factor was about 1,000,000X when I was in Paris. I think my head was probably spinning around and around trying to take mental notes of everything I was seeing. There were so many people, and they all looked gorgeous! I was trying so hard to figure out the formula that they were using, because they all kind of seemed to match, but everyone was dressed pretty differently.

I quickly realized that color wasn't too popular with Parisians (it was a little bit disconcerting to arrive for the first time in a foreign country in a bright red sweater and realize everyone is wearing black). Most people were in black or maybe gray, but most definitely not reds or neons. French people also know how to dress their bodies. The majority of people I saw were in silhouettes rather than extremely voluminous shapes, and believe me, it works.

Ergo, the first thing I would do on my dream trip is:
1. Dress cutely. I would have about 16 suitcases and wouldn't have to worry about "Will I really wear this? Will it fit into my backpack? Will it get dirty after wearing it 7 times?" I would completely overpack and most importantly, I wouldn't have to carry any of my bags.

Et, voila! Here are six examples of how I would love to dress if I were in Paris. Since one of my top aims during traveling would be to blend in, I would dress mostly in black, dressed up clothes. I would wear heels too, because I wore loafers and sandals and felt kind of dowdy.

2. I would stay wherever I want. During my stay in Paris, I stayed with a friend, which was awesome because it meant four nights of free lodging. But next time, I want to go all the way and stay somewhere that has a true Parisian feel (although the one bedroom apartment I stayed in was probably more "Paris" than the swanky hotels actually are).

My first choice would be the Hotel Mathis Elysées Matignon off of the Champs-Elysées. It's modern, as most luxury hotels in Paris are, but it also has a classical air that I love. I want somewhere that I can pretend I'm Marie Antoinette, as well as be able to see a busy street outside my window. I've lived the hostel life, now I want to experience the Hotel Mathis Elysées Matignon life. 

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Because who wouldn't want to stay at the Four Seasons in Paris? The Four Seasons is pretty much synonymous with glamour in my mind, therefore it's also on the top of my list. 

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And then at the end of the day, I would settle down at a sidewalk cafe and enjoy a macaroon from Ladurée. YUM.

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Laughter Is The Best Medicine. Really, It Is.

I have watched this, oh about... twenty times, and each time I laugh so hard I'm almost crying. I want to be like these people when I'm 80. Seriously, how cute are they?

And when I thought it couldn't get ANY cuter, I saw this in the suggestions at the end of the video:

Just what I needed to lighten my outlook after a long Monday.

As I Live Now.

My sister is getting married on August 26th, and I'm a bridesmaid. She still hasn't picked a color. Two and a half months and I still don't know what color dress to look for. Can you tell I'm rolling my eyes as I write this?

Two months may seem like plenty of time to you, but to me, it's terribly last minute. She's bouncing back and forth between black and tan, and I'm crossing my fingers and praying my heart out that she doesn't pick tan because I look pale as a sheet in tan. Plus, who sells fancy dresses in tan? No one, that's who. Black is good, I'm comfortable in black. 

In my dreams I would look like this:

Photo Credit

But since I know I'm not Bar (and that dress is a tad trampy for a wedding. Or... the general public) I'm thinking of going with something like this:

J Crew

My jaw literally dropped when I saw this dress. IT IS SO PRETTY! The way it's draped... the length.. ah! Doesn't just looking at it make you all tingly inside? Okay, maybe it's just me. 

But, since I don't have the shoulders for a strapless gown (not trying to be self deprecating, I just know what my body isn't made for), I want to have straps like these added. 

Photo Credit

Sandra Dee. My inspiration for life. Embarrassing fact: In high school I had a collage of photos of her on my binder.

The only problems are 1.The dress is $230. Way too much for this 'frugal' Swede, and 2. My sister's wedding dress has the same kind of sheer lace shoulders so I don't want to be too matchy-matchy with the bride...

What I will do, we shall see! Ah, the perils of being a bridesmaid!

30 Day Challenge: Day 3

Today's challenge was to name your favorite brush, and since I don't brush my hair (I use a comb) I'm going to tell you about the best makeup brush ever.

Behold, the bareMinerals Kabuki brush. I bought the bareMinerals makeup that it came with a few years ago and it totally gave me acne, but it was really worth it because I got these awesome makeup brushes. I don't know what they are made of but they feel like such nice quality. I used to buy cheap makeup brushes that were kind of rough on my cheeks but this brush feels so soft. It gives you just the right amount of makeup unlike other brushes that give you one concentrated swipe of makeup and then soak up the rest of the powder forever. I wash it about once a month (way less often than you're supposed to, but hey, I've survived!) and in the roughly five years I've had it, it still works just like new. Yep, so worth the price and the acne! :)

30 Day Challenge: Day 2

Write about your favorite purse: After I read this prompt I spend a really long time browsing through pictures of beautiful purses on Polyvore and wishing I could have all of them. I love purses. This purse is  tops above any purse I've ever owned.

I bought it about two years ago and I have used it for everything. Seriously, this purse goes with everything, as shown by the below outfits.

I used it when I was in Europe last year and it had just enough room to hold my valuables but it was small enough so I didn't feel like I was hefting around a suitcase. I'm telling you, best purse ever.

10 Things I'm Thankful For.

Since I haven't done this before, I am going to begin with the things I am most overtly thankful for. As time goes on I will name more obscure things that I am really thankful for.

  1. My nephew.

I adore my nephew. I didn't realize it was possible to love a human being like I love him. It always makes my day to come home and see him. He's getting to the stage where he is always giggling and smiling, and let me tell you, there is nothing that makes my day more than that baby's smile.

2. The sun. It may seem like a given, but in Seattle, it isn't. It's weird how quickly my mood picks up just by seeing sunlight.

3. Books. Need I say more?

4. Bread. I love bread. Especially of the garlic variety.

5. Hair. You can tell me it's dead protein growing out of my head but I won't listen! I love hair, and I love trying out every single brand of shampoo, deep conditioner and homemade remedy on my hair. :)
What was I thinking when I cut it off? :D

6. High heels. I could spend a million dollars on high heels, but I'm frugal (read: cheap) so I frequently peruse the discount shelf at Kohl's because they always have Vera Wang shoes for really cheap. So I guess I'm thankful for discount high heels.

7. My parents.

They gave me everything I needed growing up. I'm not talking about material possessions, I'm talking about emotional, spiritual support. They instilled in me a love of Jesus and always made sure I knew how loved I was. In this world that's not a given and I'm so thankful I was given the parents I have.

8. Music.

At the moment, this song particularly.

9. History. I am a huge history nerd. Anastasia's Album was my  absolute favorite book when I was little and I have probably read it a million times. I love ancient history (the ancient Greeks, Bible-time history) and I love modern history (World War I and II) and my favorite time period is the American Revolution. This ties into #3. I am wild about historical fiction, particularly books like Celia Garth, The Yankee Stranger, Annie Between The States... I could go on naming books for days.

10. YouTube. I don't know why, but I have this innate need to hear people talking. I love going to Youtube and just watching people talk. My favorites are Leonardo Dicaprio, James Stewart, Andrew Garfield and Keira Knightley (Yeah... that's my embarrassing confession for the day).

I've been getting writer's block lately and I think I really need to just get into the habit of writing something everyday. I do better with pre-set blog post ideas so maybe I'll browse blogs for ideas like this one and the A-Z list of the men in my life that I can do each day. Any ideas? :)

Comfy Monday.

Today I felt like doing a little fashion inspiration post, so...

Today's fashion inspiration is:

I'm kind of a history buff/history nerd, so I have about a million old pictures on my computer that were taken before 1950. Including this one, which inspired today's outfit. I love forties style clothing, but not for the reason most people love it. I love the more innocent looks like what the girl in this picture is wearing. I'm not really into the pinup look, I'm all about innocent and girly, and this picture sums that up.

So today in the spirit of the forties, I wore this. I also wore color! My theory is that if I wear enough bright colors, the weather will get the hint and get sunny again! 

I know I said I'm not a jeans and sweatshirt kind of girl, but that doesn't mean I never wear jeans. When I saw the rain today, I caved and grabbed the jeans. They're just too comfortable!

In case it's hard to tell, this is what the tops look like:

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While looking through my inspiration photos, I found this gem:

That's my grandpa on the left. Easily one of my favorite photos of all time.

Black Is My Addiction.

You know, I don't know what this blog is going to be, I sort of just started it on a whim because I wanted somewhere to vent my creativity. Whether or not that will actually be enjoyable to read, we shall see... Maybe I'll talk about places I'd like to be or people I look up to or fashion I love. All I know is that it will have nothing to do with my real life.

Don't get me wrong; I love my life. I just like to step away from it for a while and just sink into my imagination; things that aren't reality.

So today I'm going to talk about one of my favorite things in the whole world: fashion. <3 I think I'll chronicle some of my favorite fashion inspiration, one picture or piece each day that has inspired me and my fashion choices throughout my life, probably more for my sake than anything else. Really, I'll have one place that I can go to see all of my favorite aesthetic treats, I should've done this a long time ago! :)

I am inspired by strange things, and I don't have a set style. You'd probably never guess what I dress like by looking at what I'm inspired by. The only thing you need to know is I am not a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl.

Today's inspiration is...

I saw this picture on the Sartorialist a long time ago and saved it so I could look at it over and over and over again. She's so dramatic looking, which is something I like. I love the contrast of the black with her porcelain skin. She looks like she could be the beautiful villain in a story.  I think it just might have started my addiction to black- an addiction I've been trying very hard to break. Today I caved. What can I say? I have a problem. 

Therefore, today's outfit was mainly comprised of black. Black shoes, black tights, black dress, black belt and black details on my sweater! But I am just telling myself that by throwing in the bright blue sweater, it doesn't make me look quite as vampy. I can't help it, I just love the way black looks.  

Yeah, that's me. :) That's all of me that you're going to get!

PS: Through extensive googling, I found this beauty. I think my life just changed forever:

The Men In My Life.

Well, I started a new full time job last Monday, and all I can say is that I'm exhausted! After the busiest week of my life, I think a night rounding up the dreamiest men I know of sounds wonderful, so here I am!

Anyone who knows me could tell you that I am a hopeless romantic. The life of a hopeless romantic is a fun one, because it is filled with thoughts of beautiful men (seriously, who wouldn't want that?). Tonight I thought I would give a little A-Z compilation of the men who have stolen my heart over the years...

(Sidenote: I could NOT think of anyone for Q, U, X, or Y. Sorry. If I think of anyone, I'll update.)

A: Arthur, played by Joseph Gordon Levitt in Inception.
Seriously, the first time I saw that movie I came home with stars in my eyes. My biggest weakness is a well dressed man, and he is definitely one of them.

B: Orlando Bloom.
I've loved Orlando ever since the summer before seventh grade when my friend and I went to the movies  with her parents (ha!) to see the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. All it took was one look and I knew, we'd be together forever. Too bad he had to go off and marry some model...

Joe Bradley played by Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday.
Most beautiful voice ever. I love old Hollywood actors. When I was in Rome I totally went to the Spanish Steps and pretended I was just waiting for Joe to show up. Sadly, he didn't. :(

C: Christian Bale.
Yeah, I know he's supposedly crazy. I also know he's got kind of a terrible temper. But you know what? I'm in love with Theodore Laurence, and love like that just doesn't go away just because someone may or may not be insane.

D. Fitzwilliam Darcy. 

Because who doesn't like Mr. Darcy? I like men who are more than they appear to be on the surface.

David Beckham.

I love David Beckham. Any man who can look good in a ponytail has my respect.

E. Edward Ferrars. Played by Hugh Grant in Sense and Sensibility.

Okay, I don't know what it is about Hugh Grant's fumbling stutter, but it melts my heart. It doesn't matter that he is pretty much the same in every movie I've seen him in. He's just so winning.

F. Frank Tupelo. Played by Johnny Depp in The Tourist.

I partly chose him because I had already used up J and D. But mostly because any character Johnny Depp plays is instantly attractive. Which is odd. And creepy. Yes, I find him oddly attractive as Willy Wonka. 

Anyway, without giving anything away from the movie, I'll just say: he was not what I expected. I like that.

G. Gaspard Ulliel.

He was my first taste of the beauty of a foreign man. I had a huge crush one him sometime around the beginning of high school. Also, his Chanel poster was everywhere I looked when I was in Paris.

H. Howl voiced by Christian Bale in Howl's Moving Castle. 

This one's kind of embarrassing, but really, Howl is a catch. This movie is so sweet and I just wish that Howl was real because I would marry him. Plus, his voice is Christian Bale's (the most beautiful voice in all of the world).

Heath Ledger. I remember when he first started getting popular, my mom thought he was handsome and, being the momma's girl that I am, I developed a huge crush on him which has kept until this day. I may or may not have cried when he died.

I. Ivanhoe played by Robert Taylor in Ivanhoe. 

Okay, this picture's not from Ivanhoe, but just look at him. Any man nicknamed 'The Man With The Perfect Profile' is good enough for me. 

J. JIMMY STEWART.

Jimmy Stewart is without doubt the love of my life. I can't even put into words how much I love Jimmy Stewart; it would just be me going, "UGH, oh my goodness, I love him. He is... he's just... I LOVE HIM!" He was the personification of everything good and respectable a man could be. 

http://artofmanliness.com/2009/11/04/lessons-in-manliness-jimmy-stewart/

Jamie. Played by Colin Firth in Love Actually.

Overall, the movie was too horribly smutty (Wait, did I just say smutty? Okay, it's official, I'm turning into my mother) for me but I loved the relationship between him and Aurelia. The notion of two people not speaking the same language and falling in love anyway was just cute. Plus I just love Colin Firth.

K. Alfred Kralik. Played by James Stewart in The Shop Around The Corner. 

I wasn't going to repeat actors, but Jimmy is the exception. I'll admit it: I am obsessed with Jimmy Stewart. I love Jimmy Stewart. 

On a side note, if you like old movies, you will love this movie. You've Got Mail was actually a remake of this movie, but I think this version is the better version. It even kind of makes me want to fall in love with a co-worker.

L. Leonardo DiCaprio.

I've always love Leo, ever since his Growing Pains days. Look at that photo below, he just seems like the perfect bad boy... 

Luke Ansell from the book Celia Garth.

Okay, this isn't a picture of him, but this is a picture of Celia Garth, which is one of my favorite books EVER. It's one of those 'I bawled my eyes out through the entire book' books, but in a good way; and he was one of my favorite characters.

M. Matt Damon.

Mmmm. Jason Bourne.

Gabriel Martin played by Heath Ledger in The Patriot.

It's such a good movie! I cry my eyes out every time I watch it, and yet I keep watching it. I love how driven his character is by what the Redcoats did to his family. Nothing is more attractive than a man who would do anything for his family.

N. Nick Jonas.

Cough cough cough... I may or may not have a huge crush on Nick Jonas. Okay, stop laughing. He seems nice, alright?

O. Gary Oldman.

No, I don't think he's attractive, but I just had to include him because he is so stinking cool. Cool in a 'if I ever met him I would pass out from great esteem and a little bit of fear' kind of way. 

P. Peter Lyman played by Hugh Jackman in Scoop.

Funniest movie ever. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. I think that aside from possibly being a murderer, Peter Lyman is a pretty good catch...

Q.

R. Robin Hood played by Errol Flynn.

I've always loved the story and character of Robin Hood, he seems so rebellious. I like rebellious (within reason). :)

Rupert Friend as Prince Albert in The Young Victoria.

He's just so adorable in this movie. He doesn't really have any characters flaws and is kind of a flat character, but I love him anyway.

S. Jefferson Smith. Played by Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.

A classic example of why I love Jimmy Stewart. His slow drawl and his love for the things that make America great make me go weak at the knees. Seriously, I can't watch this and not wish I had been born 80 years earlier: 

T. King Tirian from the Chronicles of Narnia book, The Last Battle.

My favorite book. I cried like a baby when I read this book. I also made up my mind that if (when) I ever go to Narnia, I would marry King Tirian. The rest of the Narnian kings are great, but he goes through much more than all the others. He's tough. 

Also, he is the only man who was ever allowed to ride Jewel the Unicorn. 

U. 

V. Captain Vonn Trapp played by Christopher Plummer in The Sound Of Music.

I remember watching The Sound Of Music as a little girl and thinking he was so dreamy!

Eduardo Verastegui.

He is beautiful. And he made a vow to put his bad boy soap opera acting ways behind him and only make movies that matter (like Bella, one of my favorites).

W. Mark Wahlberg. 

Don't ask.

X. Ok, I give up, I can't think of ANYONE whose name begins with X. Sorry.

Y.

Z. Zach from the Gallagher Girls books. 

I guess this stems from my dream of falling in love with a spy. Spies are extremely attractive. 

Zac Efron.

I seriously remember the first time I saw a commercial for High School Musical. I was 15 and it was my dream to have a basketball player fall in love with me. This movie was my dream life and although it's no longer my dream, I still love Zac.